I read an article recently where a woman had decided at the age of 25 that she didn't ever want to have children. In this article she explained that nobody would take her seriously and that despite maturely explaining to many doctors that she was one hundred percent sure that she would never want a baby she couldn't get anyone to sterilise her. She said that saying someone is 'Childless' implies that their life is missing ('less') something and that we should use the term childfree instead because it sounds more liberating.
People tend to assume if you don't have a child your life is missing something or that your life is somehow inferior to theirs because you have not reproduced. I know quite a few childfree couples over the age of 50 who have very happy lives after choosing not to have a child. Jennifer Aniston, Cameron Diaz, Kylie and the most well respected celebrity of all Dame Helen Mirren are all well known women in the spotlight who haven't given birth. Many celebrities these days are childfree either through choice or the simple fact that they haven't found the right partner yet but society makes people feel abnormal if they are over 30 and unmarried or childless. Jennifer Aniston who is often the focus of intense scrutiny over her childfree life said 'There's all sorts of reasons why children aren't in people's lives and no one has the right to assume. It's quite rude, insulting and ignorant'. If a woman over the age of 40 doesn't have a child it can be assumed that they sacrificed motherhood for other things in life such as a career or in the case if celebrities, fame and fortune. People also assume that all women are maternal and go gooey eyed at the mere sight of a 'little bundle of joy' . Don't get me wrong I love my friends babies because I know them but strangers babies are just crying, pooing, milk suckling small humans to me. I can honestly say I prefer puppies and kittens because not only are they incredibly interactive and forever innocent they are just so fluffy. I like it when babies pass the six month stage and are more animated but what I like more is the fact that I can hand them back for all the hard stuff. Random babies just don't appeal to me, I don't see the cute factor. I am sure if I do decide to have one of my own then I will think mine is the most amazing baby on the planet but every Mother thinks that of their own.
Latest estimates suggest that 25% of women of childbearing age will remain childfree. Personally I find it liberating for women to make the choice to live without children yet society is still struggling with the concept. The contraceptive pill was made widely available in 1961 and it was invented to give women a choice so why are we negating the reason behind that invention by analysing women so negatively who make that choice on a permanent basis? Some people can be threatened by the fact other people are able to make different choices to the ones that they do, whether it is having children or anything else in life. It can be argued that having children and raising them is the greatest possible act a woman can do as it is what she was put on the planet for but those views are out dated and sexist. It is 2015 people, not the 1920's! Yes, having children gives life meaning but becoming a parent is definitely not the only way to live a meaningful life. In my opinion carving out a spectacular career or becoming a strong independent woman is something which should be highly respected and having a child to 'fit in' or to be an old age care taker is just plain selfish and immoral. Is it not better that a woman who doesn't want to be a parent never has a child than tries to force herself into a role that she was never meant to fulfil? I'm no feminist but the age old belief that every woman is maternal is like I have said, damn right sexist. A man is subject to far less speculation if he is childless yet a woman is nearly always viewed as having some reason behind her child free life. She must have a medical condition or maybe she just left it too late but rarely would someone come to the conclusion that she just doesn't want to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet. In society's eyes a women without children becomes a cat keeping spinster whilst a bachelor remains a bachelor until he dies. A childless woman often finds herself having to justify or explain her decision not only to strangers but to friends and family who comment that her biological clock must be ticking. The thing is, some people just dont have a clock and it's about time society accepted that. Women should not be made to feel like they are a failure in life if they don't reproduce and less emphasis should be placed on being 'normal' because it makes people feel inadequate. Having or not having a child should not define who you are as a person. You can be a great Sister, Daughter, Wife, Friend or Auntie without giving birth but you can also enjoy the freedom of holidays and being without ties. You can go wherever you please whenever you please. It is your life so live it the way you want to whether it be with child or without. One childfree,couple I know go on five holidays abroad, never stop chatting to each other and are one of the happiest couples I have met. My point is that everyone has a right to choose and to not be judged for their decision just because it is different to what society expects. So for now I am quite happy to call my dog my baby and if that is what I decide for my future then I will be content knowing that I wasn't pressured into a role that wasn't for me.
